Image Source: Getty / Witthaya Prasongsin
You likely know Elyse Myers as the funny TikToker who went viral for having the worst first-date story ever. (If you need a reminder: she drove 45 minutes to her dating-app match’s house, and then he suggested they go to Taco Bell, proceeded to order 100 crunchy tacos for himself, and “forgot” his wallet.) Since then, she’s acquired a nearly five-million-follower fanbase — most likely from being extremely relatable and quirky in the videos. But recently, the Nebraska native went a little off script from her normal content to offer some candid love advice.
On Sunday, Myers shared a video with the caption, “You aren’t a game. Tell them to move on.” In the 23-second video, she says, “Just in case you were wondering, it’s actually not your job to make people love you. It’s your job to show people who you are and allow them the opportunity to love you if they want to.”
She continued, “If they don’t, please let them walk away. They were probably going to walk away anyway but were just sticking around a bit to see if you’d beg a little bit. Don’t even give them that; let them go.”
@elysemyers You aren’t a game. Tell them to move on. 🤍
Finishing up the video, Myers adds, “You’re not a shapeshifter. You’re not going to turn into a version of yourself that you think would be more lovable by the person you are trying to be loved by. That’s not love; that’s exhausting.”
To no surprise, the comments on the video are filled with praise and gratitude for sharing this message. One person said, “I received that. And needed it.” Another said, “Not Elyse making me cry first thing in the morning.” One comment affirmed Myers for being “amazing, stable, and logical,” and she responded with, “I’m definitely still very very human and healing, but I’ve learned a lot and I want to help bring people along with me on that journey!”
Though Myers’s content is normally about funny mishaps or awkward moments, this isn’t the first time Myers has used TikTok to share an inspiring message. In another video posted in May, Myers shares some additional advice on loving yourself. “It’s OK to love yourself exactly the way you are right now. Nothing else has to change. You can just stay like this forever and love yourself,” she says. “I just want you to know that you don’t have to change anything about yourself to just decide you’re worth your own unconditional love, so I just wanted you to hear that from at least one person today.”
While it’s unclear what has prompted these big-sis advice moments from Myers, the message is clear: you do not need to change who you are in order to be worthy of love. In a society where we are so often comparing ourselves to others — to Instagram models, celebrities, TikTok content creators who have millions of followers, whomever — you are lovable as is. And though that sounds extremely earnest, you don’t need to change yourself for anyone. Who you are is always going to be enough for the right person.
If you are struggling with self-love or feeling weighed down by insecurities, finding a therapist can help you better understand yourself and provide tangible advice that may be able to help. You can find helpful tips on how to find a therapist here.
Thanks for breaking this down into easy-to-understand terms.